"i like fish, but i don't drink it" will be the "drop it like it's hot" of 2008

So, like, 2008 is pretty scary so far, what with the threat of stagflation looming around the corner and people simply walking away from their mortgages, but I think I've found the one thing that can help us heal as a country and move onward and upwards. Not surprisingly, this involves streaming short videos on the internets. More specifically, I think there is an untapped market out there, and it involves the inherent joy of watching somebody eat stuff that they don't like. Behold:


Kid Cuisine Deep Sea Adventure Fish Sticks from HeatEatReview.com's Abi Jones on Vimeo

The look of utter disappointment in her eyes after she takes each bite, as if a small piece of her soul has just been stolen from her and downloaded illegally, is beautiful. Actually, the whole heateatreview site is pretty great.

I also think Paula Deen will be responsible for a decent amount of deaths this year, a belief the fine folks at a hamburger today seem to share. Behold:

The Lady's Brunch Burger
Macaroni & Cheese wrapped in bacon and then fried
DEEP FRIED BUTTER BALLS

welcome back, dancing space girl (and friends)

They really need to bring back variety shows.

how could something be so wrong but yet, so right?

Please click here for what may be the single greatest thing you will see this year. Yes, it's only January 9th. I know. Nothing in the remaing 346 days will be this amazing. I know there's an election this year. Sorry, won't be as good as this. Nope.

Between this and I Can Has Cheezburger, it's occurred to me that about half of my web browsing involves pictures of cats.

When I first came across Will It Blend I was like "Boo yeah! This rocks!"

Then after a few days I realized the whole thing is basically an advertisement for the blender used in the videos, and felt kind of sad. Then I saw the probably-not-a-doctor guy blend up some Barbie dolls and I was happy again!

Underground Dragon linked to The Marmaduke Project, which tries to make the comic strip funny by altering it (executive summary : only putting in completely new captions seems to work). In a coincidence that simply cannot be explained, I came across the Joe Mathlete Explains Today's Marmaduke blog, which is marvelous, because all these years I thought Marmaduke wasn't funny, but when it's explained to me, it's batshit hilarious.

Sometimes you see something and you go "Wow, that would be really cool... if I was 8." And with that, I present to you.... Star Wars Transformers!!!!

It totally sucks when someone just runs off and steals your idea.

Be prepared to visit your new favorite website - Overheard in New York. Man, some of this stuff is just golden. Like this one for instance. Ahhhh, pure gold.

After following a link on a site linked by another blog, I had the following discussion with God:



Me:
Am i a good person?
God:
I don't know if you are one or not. I know you are a person.
Me:
Am i a person?
God:
You are.
Me:
Well, that's nice.
God:
How about that. That is " You are .".
Me:
This is a bit abstract.
God:
What makes you say that?
Me:
I thought this would all be different.
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
I pictured God to be more warm, welcoming, less Freudian perhaps.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said pictured God to be more warm welcoming less Freudian perhaps.
Me:
Are you fishing for compliments now?
God:
Oh. I don't like to fish.
Me:
Isn't that the symbol for your son and all?
God:
I might say no.
Me:
Wow, this is a major breakthrough then!
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. That is just your personal opinion.
Me:
I'm very fond of my own opinions.
God:
What do you like best about your own opinions?
Me:
They're hot.
God:
hot are they.
Me:
Wanna find out?
God:
I don't think I have a choice.
Me:
That's what he said.
God:
That is " I don't think I have a choice.".

It's been a while since I had a Friday fun post, so here we go - I'M A ROCKETMAN!

(You're probably best off downloading the file to your desktop since you'll most likely have to watch this one again. What on Earth were people on in the '70s?)

These images of the Pope's dead body everywhere really give me the creeps.

I'm really not a fan of funerals where the cadaver is on display. I suppose it provides a certain closure to those mourning, but I really would rather not be laid out at my funeral. It's a terrible last image to have of someone.

So, instead, let's remember the Pope for who he was - the best breakdancing judge ever!

So, the frozen food aisle fascinates me. Being a vegetarian/food snob/relatively health conscious person, the majority of the items offerred are strictly taboo, and with the exception of Morningstar Farms' chick patties (yummericious!) and frozen peas, the only thing in my freezer is ice.

What fascinates me even more is that people eat this stuff, lots of it. Some people seem to live solely off of this stuff.

So, without further ado, I present the web page that captivated me while I ate my lunch today.

It's the weekend, everyone! Call me on your banana phone!!!!

Here's an article that reveals some interesting findings in cognitive psychology, but man, does it have one crappy headline.

Is there a better way of saying "Happy Friday" a day early than supplying you with a link about disgusting food? Of course not! Ch-ch-ch check it out!

late breaking news: whale with large penis EXPLODES in taiwan. residents hold their nose in fear.

i'm having a hard time being productive at work today. it's monday, i'm exhausted from my study-free weekend (school's out, yay!), and i'd much rather be preparing for christmas and new year's than tracking revenue. needless to say, i've been the fish-eyed web-surfer today, and satan's laundromat has been my savior. it's a blog of some really terrific photos of new york. there's a photo taken in my town (carroll gardens) that i can't place for the life of me. web diversions, they're a good thing.

this site really has me wishing i had bought one of those yaschika cameras when they were mad cheap years ago so i could take a stab at photography. i would like to have more art and photography on my walls, but i just can't afford to pay for original stuff or good cindy sherman prints.

south park has been absolutely on fire this season, and the best episode so far involved cartman's devious plans to get to some cheesy mexican restaurant. if you saw it, you may be shocked to know that casa bonita actually exists, cliff divers included! anybody wanna take a road trip to colorado with me?

uber-cool it's-friday-and-i-don't-want-to-do-work-today distraction (courtesy of underground dragon); slow wave, a collective dream diary illustrated in comic book fashion. some of the dreams in the archives are great, like the sophia loren one. i'm also glad to find out that i'm not the only person who dreams about talking dogs. i have in fact dreamed about talking dogs twice. in the first one the dog was really smart, charming, and in a lesbian relationship with an old acquaintance from high school (i figured, wow, a dog this smart probably couldn't be in a relationship with another dog). in the other dream the dog talked but just wasn't as spectacular.

addictive web diversion of the day; the awful plastic surgery blog! this brings me to two points:
- i predict all female celebrities will be emaciated ghouls by 2015
-i always thought amanda lepore walked around with wax lips. there's no way she pumps them up with that much collagen!