On Saturday, some guy around the corner from my apartment had a huge used record and CD sale. The sale was to start at 10 am. My train out to Long Island (doing yard work for mom and dad) was at 11:15, so I left the house early enough to allow myself a decent window of time to sort through whatever was there, grab a bagel and coffee, and hightail it over to the LIRR. Since I had planned on getting there at 10 am on the dot, my largest concern was whether the guy would actually be set up yet. I began dreaming of the rare treats that I would find for pennies. Perhaps he would be getting rid of the Adam Beyer remixes to Damon Wild's "Warpath," ending one of my hunts from the past few years.

OK, so it's 10 am, the thing's just started, right? I get to the guy's front stoop and there's like 20 guys there. Every single obsessive compulsive record collector in town was there to get first dibs. Shit was crazy.

Everyone was in this "I'm going to find a bargain" fever. I got shoved about five times within the first minute. I would be flipping through a line of CDs, and someone would come over and start flipping through the same column that I was looking at. I couldn't even make it to the area where the vinyl was, but someone was holding a copy of Nirvana's Incesticide on vinyl that was two bucks.

I was becoming frustrated rather quickly. I hadn't had my morning coffee yet. Then crazy old school Brooklyn lady arrived, and I swear I almost completely lost it.

So this lady comes from down the street, sees everyone going buck wild, and realizes she's missing out on the chance of a lifetime. She grabs the first pile of CDs she sees (from the electronica section I might add, I might also add that this lady is 55 years old) and yells "Can ya hold these aside fuh me?!?" Keep in mind she's not asking anyone in particular this question, as she doesn't see any difference between the crowd of people looking through the inventory for items to purchase and the person sitting by the curb counting his money. Certainly we all would have a hard time identifying the best person to ask questions regarding the record sale in this situation.

She then sees that one of the CDs she's holding has a rather racy cover and decides to tell me "Oh, I won't be buying that one." Then, another question popped in her head that needed immediate attention but was directed at noone in particular - "How much ya got all these tapes fuh!?!?" An important side note here - there were no tapes at this sale, only CDs and vinyl, and all prices were clearly marked with a yellow sticker on each item.

After realizing that she didn't know any of the artists in the pile of CDs she was holding, it was time for the next question. "Ya got any oldies?!?!?" No one answered so she asked this like five times, getting louder each time. I ran over to pay for my item and got the fuck out of there.

I got the Beth Gibbons solo CD that came out a few years ago, but I never picked up for some reason, for three bucks. Word!